


Bass slap intro

by Skeletor



Category: Seinfeld
Genre: JiM - Freeform, Love, M/M, Sex, frienship, lovemaking, pizza the hutt - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:02:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27364735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeletor/pseuds/Skeletor
Summary: Welcome to heck
Relationships: George Costanza/Jerry Seinfeld
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Bass slap intro

/Bass slap intro 

Zoom in to Monks diner, the famed Seinfeld diner from Seinfeld.  
Sitting in their usual booth, Elayne and the eponymous Jerry Seinfeld are snarfing down on their usual gleebsday morning breakfast, a heeping pile of corned banana peels, with a side of crispy worm tongues and a nice hearty cup of steaming piss. Jerry was just finishing his last crispy worm tongue by flicking his extra long amphibious tongue out and grasping it quickly, when Elayne sighed her typical 90's Elayne sigh.  
"What is wrong Comrade Elayne?" whispered Jerry Seinfeld  
[Laughtrack]  
"Oh Jerry" Elayne wailed " ever since Kramer died yesterday, I just can’t stop thinking about how Kramers dead! Who will come to our famous festivus celebrations now that Kramers dead??”  
[Laughtrack]  
“Oh Elayne” purred Jerry “I understand your sorrow about our dead friend Cosmo Kramer, it seems like only yesterday we found his nasty body in this very booth in this very diner, because it was yesterday”  
[Laughtrack]  
Elayne was weeping blood.

The bell to the door of the diner rang, it was none other than their comrade George Costanza!  
George was visibly shaken, uncooked hot dogs and alligator ears fell from his pockets onto the linoleum floor. He smelled like teeth and nightmares. He sat down at the booth next to the weeping bloody Elayne.  
“How ya doin George” Jerry said, chuffed.  
“Not doin so great Jer, gotta say, not so great” George said in a way that made him sound like he was about to vomit.  
“Aw Goerge I’m so sorry, you want me to order you boiled horse toes? Those always cheer you up”  
“Thats alright Jer” George groaned “I don’t think I could eat right now, I feel sick. Say, wheres Kramer?”  
Jerry guffawed “Oh god Goerge did you not hear?” Elayne was screeching and wailing now “Kramer died right where you’re sitting yesterday, we found his stinky yucky body and everything”.  
George started to sweat and was totally freaking out, his diaper filling rapidly. “What do you mean Kramers dead jer???? Like dead dead???”  
[Laughtrack]  
Elayne was thrashing and screaming and bleeding everywhere now.  
“Well yeah George! Dead as a door knob! They’re taking his body to the dump as we speak!”  
[laugh track]  
George was shook. If Kramer was dead, that means that his secret lover was gone forever. Their hirsute and wet love making sessions, gone forever. He weeped.  
George was getting hot and horny just thinking about Kramer, his dead lover.  
“My life is in shambles” said George  
“That's the spirit Georgie!” Jerry cheered.  
Elayne had passed away at this point, her lifeless blood soaked body twitching on the floor. No one paid her any mind.  
[laugh track]  
Jerry’s plan was going according to plan, with Kramer out of the way, he could finally grasp his hands around his sopping tugid hirsute dream lover, George. Jerry was starting to seep.  
“Say George” Jerry gleeked, “how about I help you calm down, I know how much the K man meant to you”  
“What do you mean Mr. Seinfeld” George stammered sexily.  
“I mean” Seinfeld bellowed ‘ I want to soothe you with my body sexily and sensually”  
George couldn't believe his eyes and ears….Jerry Seinfeld….comedian and bee personality extraordinaire….wanted George’s hot hairy body...the extacy was consuming him….  
Jerry started to undress in the diner. Neither the patrons, the waitstaff or Elaynes bloody mushy body paid him any mind. Jerry was jacked, he had the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger times one hundred, except his legs were thin and small and sad and had gangrene. George was so frickin’ turned on.  
But George was apprehensive…...his body...was not as supple and turgid as Jerry’s…..  
“Whats wrong George, you afraid to be nude and have sex, with me, Jerry?” said seinfeld  
“No, no Jer, I just….am so insecure about my funky little body” cried George  
“Oh georgie” whimpered Jerry hornily “I’m sure that your supple little body will make me jizz loads!”  
[Laugh track]  
George began to unzip the pants to his velvet sweat suit, revealing his pecker.  
It was just a wriggling little dry rat tail, thrashing. No pubes, no nasty balls, just a rat tail. Jerry started to moan and groan, it was so hot to see Georges rat tail penis pecker.  
Goerge took the rest of the velvet sweat suit off, his true form almost melting Jerry Seinfeld’s eyes out of his brain case. Because it was so sexy.  
Besides his wriggling rat tail penis, George was covered in a fine layer of dirt and mold, which was shedding off onto the floor. Jerry also noticed that George had no fingernails, nipples, or belly button. Just mold, dirt, and large expanses of supple turgid flesh that stank of death and teeth still. George was nude except for his brand new Yeezy sneakers.  
His mold was flaking off onto the floor and Jeryy couldn’t help himself. He got onto his nasty little hands and knees and began to lap up Georges mold flakes with his quick frog tongue. They tasted like ceiling insulation and denture cream. He almost camed out his dick.  
George was so entranced by jerry licking up his body mold in the middle of this very crowded diner, he just could not believe it.  
Suddenly, the sexy energy shifted, the turgid extacy was being sucked away by a black hole of despair, George could feel it in his aura.  
Newman enters  
[The audience screams]  
Newman was in his typical form. Oozing and gooing and being filled with turgis puss and piss. Oh how Jerry hated newsom. His muscles were swelling in rage.  
“Hey there Jer, have you heard the good word about Jesus christ the Lord and savior?” Newman screamed at the top of his lungs. Jerry and George began to fue into one large pile of mold and piss and hate. They began to consume the patrons into their pizza the hutt bodies, turning them into piss and hate and mold as well. Newman was filled with fear. His god was no longer with him.  
[Laugh track]  
Their large pissful mass began to crush newmans shitty little body as he scramed. The diner began to fill with insects and plague. Everyone was screaming but in a horny way. There was so much blood and bile and pee pee. Jerry seinfeld was so pleased. This was 100% in accordance to his horny little turgid plan of extacy.  
Goerge was no longer on this astral plane. He was having an out of nasty body experience. It was incredible. Vaping would never give him this high. He was comin out of his rat tail dick and balls like crazy. He had completely forgotten about Kramer.  
Everyone in the diner and on earth was dead or consumed by the mass of george and jerry. It was so sexy and turgid.  
God and Christ came down from earth. They were so turned on by this mass they could not take it. “Jerry and George” said God and Jesus “you are both so hotted and horny, that you guys are now god and jesus instead of us, and we are so glad that the antichrist Kramer is dead”  
All 4 of these deities began to vibrate and vape their favorite vape juices rapidly, they soon became one with the seinfeld vape juice.  
Now, 4000 years later, everyone vapes this original vape juice made of seinfeld and god and jesus and cum.  
FIN


End file.
